Phat Mack Eyeballs The Flicks

Blade of the Immortal (2017 Live version) Kill count in first 2 minutes of flick by pre-immortal samurai Manji: +/- 100. Blood worms: Not just for catching stripers in the surf. In the Edo Period, Japanese women: Wore clubwear, thigh highs, 21st Century hair colors. Extra bonus: Slutty shoes! Jfc, was this thing written by Neal Stephanson? Nothing that horrid -- in fact it's OK to take the whole thing tongue-in-cheek. Samurai: Why are they always standing on roofs? The comic books, the cartoons and now the live-action: Pretty much impossible to follow, plot-wise. But? Manji has stopped wearing a swastika on his back. Kawaii Swordsman (Swordsgirl?): Doesn't get any kills, but is still pretty damn cute! Unforgiven, Billboards, and now Blade of the Immortals: when revenge porn goes wrong. You're lucky, you can die! Check it out!

Coco Dia de los Muertos: ¡Hay Fantasmas! Spirited Away: goes to Club Med. Spirit Dog: May have dropped acid. Odysseus, Dorothy & Miguel: can't seem to get home. The Dead: require justice. (Rashomon? Not quite.) The lady sitting next to me with her kids: smuggled in and chugged 3 tallboys. "I wrote it for:" Coco. Cartoons! Ghosts! Mariachis! What's not to like? Check it out.

Tokyo Ghoul Special Preview Alert! Bruce Willis has remade Death Wish! Perfect for our times! Guns! Vigilantes! Live action: somehow I thought anime. Cute girl cannibal: stone cold killer. Otaku: not just for breakfast anymore. Human/Ghoul transplants: whoops! Pink eye: contagious. Cops: fashion icons. Cops: pick on little girls. Tentacle porn: check. Tentacle fu: check. Nerd fu: check. Ghoul on Ghoul violence: check. (At least I think it was violence -- it may just have been rough sex.) Karate Kid: check. Mr. Miyagi: played by ghoul alpha female. Shimizu Fumika: in her greatest role (so far... (...or at least since Hentai Kamen)). There's a moral at the end of the flick, but I lost it in translation. I don't know what possessed me to see this movie, but it was the most fun I've had since the 1st Night of the Living Dead. By all means check it out.

 4-9-2017 Your Name Is (Kimi no Na wa) Trigger Warning : Some visuals emulate psychedelica from late-60s/early-70s. Trigger Warning : Includes realistic depictions of time unstuck-ed-ness. Trigger Warning : S.M.O'D. makes guest appearance. Trigger Warning : May contain content from Star Trek and Goodfellas. Trigger Warning : Ending may not be as advertised. Trigger Warning : Film transcends genre. Comet Fu: Check. I'm a girl: Check. I'm a boy: Check. Boobs: Always getting action. Time: Unstuck. Searching: Always. Radwimps: Easy to listen to. This one surprised me. Innovative, original, weird. I expected to like it, but was surprised by how much. By all means, Check it out .

 2-21-17 Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind I thought I had seen this animation before. It's considered the first Ghibli. Turns out I had never seen it -- but might have read some of the comic books. Anyway, it was really fantastic. I had a great time and can't recommend it enough. Post-Apocalypse: Check. Princess Heroine: Check. Cute pet: Check. Fanciful Flying Machines: Check. Warring Tribes; Warring Species; Warring Ecologies: Check. Sword Fights: Check. Kinda Like? -- Dune. Sand Worms? -- No, Doodle Bugs. Really, really, really good. Check it out.

 9-19-2017 Napping Princess Every single person has to follow the rules: check. Two worlds: magic and industrial. Motorcycle with sidecar: cool. Motorcycle with sidecar: Transformer. Motorcycle with sidecar: Tesla on auto. Furries, tablets and smartphones: of course. Bento boxes on bullet trains: check. Tokyo Olympics 2020: always showing up in anime. Macy's Parade: saves the day. Purely: Shoujo .  Great story; great flick. Channel your inner high school girl and... check it out.

10-22-2016 Miss Hokusai Japanese feature length cartoon about the painter Hokusai and his family. Nutty Old Man; check. Pre-modern Tokugawa-era soft porn; check. Blind little girl in snowball fight: check. Hookers (sometimes referred to as 'foxy ladies'); check. Dragons; check. Astral projection; check. The movie is much too modest to mention it, but apparently Hokusai may have founded the Slacker Movement. Warning: Japanese films about historical people can be presented as a series of vignettes, without a traditional story arch. In other words, without a beginning, a middle, and an end. If you sat through all three films of the Samurai Trilogy, you know what I mean. There're flicks that I like and everyone else hates. I liked this one, and you'll hate it. Go see it anyway. Relax and enjoy it. It is really very pretty, so you can just ignore the subtitles if the story annoys you. Check it out.

Kizu   Monogatari  1, 2 and 3 Best Line: "Why are you rubbing your cheek against my stomach so dearly?" Runner Up: "And why is my school uniform ripped?" Honorable Mention: "If I can't die for their sake, I don't call a person a friend." Gruesome Grisly Carnage: Check. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 12 year-old face. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 500 year-old face. Boob Fu: I've waited 35 years to write that. Vampires: Check. Trigger Warning : Japanese Teen Love. Kiss Shot: Pure killer, but not in a pool hall. Zonker: Shows his dark side. Sora Nagihara: Comes very close to showing up in the final scene. But doesn't. Trigger Warning : Frustration is a key element of Japanese adolescent erotica. Weird manga graphics that switch back and forth between representational and ideographic styles: Check. Extremely interesting and extremely entertaining (the audience was gasping and howling in places), and in the end, completely incomprehens...

In This Corner of the World 8-31-17 War sucks: check. Women and children: always take the worst of it. The color of the sky: touches her heart. Makes a marriage: check. Seasons pass: check. Loses her niece: check. Surrender: check. "I still have my left hand and both legs:" check. Her marriage: survives in this corner of the world. Great storytelling . I was expecting Grave of Fireflies, but this is unique . Check it out .

Spidey-Man: Into the Cartoon Spidey-Verse! Bitten by a spider: 10 years ago! Your shoe's untied: I know! Everyone knows: It's a puberty thing! Spiderless Brooklyn: They're everywhere! Spidey is Dead! Long live Spidey! In case of fire: Use the stairs! 22 years ago: I was bitten by a spider! Homeless corpse: He's got a bagel! Hot Chick with a Shave Undercut Spidey-Fu; Porky Pig Spidey-Fu; Kawaii Shibuya Girl Spidey-Fu; Sam Spade Spidey-Fu; Anguished Metrosexual Spidey-Fu. A leap of faith: Chrysalis! Rapping Spidey: Does the Flagpole Whirl! Gets a little confusing towards the end -- apparently the animation team dropped acid (I mean that in a good, Loony Tune-ish way) -- but easily the best superhero movie ever made. Surpasses even Lego Batman. A strong contender for best picture of 2018. Check it out.

  One   Piece   Stampede I don't follow  One   Piece , but maybe I should. The protagonist, Monkey D. Loofy, AKA Straw Hat, is a Naruto type, but is a pirate instead of a ninja, and is a lot less married to maintaining a coherent story line. Gorgeous colors on the big screen, catchy soundtrack, absurd story line, and bizarre Engrish (it's also available in dubbed showings) make the whole thing trippy and strangely compelling. Might make a good candidate for enhanced viewing. Maybe 10 seconds of exposition, the rest is pure action. Check it out.

My Neighbor Totoro Is that our home? Yup. Wtf is in the kitchen: Acorns and galloping dust bunnies. Mom: In the hospital. Waiting for Godot: at the bus stop in the rain. Cat bus: Too cool for words. Cat bus interior: Pimp! Magic Nuts: Jump over the garden. It was a dream: But it wasn't a dream. As good a kid's movie as you'll ever see: check it out on the big screen.

Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) Thirteen years old and leaving home on a broomstick: Check. Talking black cat: Jiji on the make. Transistor radio: Hadn't seen one in years. Black is all she wears: Minimalist sophisticated elegance. Stuffed cat in a birdcage: Nana to the rescue. Herring and pumpkin pie: FedEx it. I'm losing my powers: Straighten up and fly right. Hindenburg Disaster: Re-imagined for the Silver Screen. Beautiful story telling. Check it out. Take your daughter.

Isle of Dogs Gang warfare: Dog fights? Drone warfare: Slingshots. Little Pilot: Spotsu. Spotsu? No, Sport. Seven Samurai Theme Song: check. You've got papers? Student revolt: puppy love. I wasn't always: a stray. Far away: cuticles. Cannibal dogs: check. I enclose a check for: ¥1,000. Bryan Cranston's greatest role since Malcolm in the Middle. Perfect in every way. Check it out ! Historical tidbit: I don't know of any Cat Mayors, but there once was a Dog Shogun. He handed down laws that dogs couldn't be killed or mistreated. The dog population exploded and legend has it that his retainers were forced into poverty by the costs of feeding them all.

Cowboy Bebop: Knockin' on Heaven's Door Spike, Jet, Faye-Faye, Ed, Ein Sama: check. Seatbelts! Smokin' Luckies! Ein Sama: Shogi master. Man needs: Protein. Bean that you can't see: In the Moroccan Quarter. 2070's Mars: Drive-in movies. But tough girls are: My type. Broom Fu, Fire Extinguisher Fu, Monorail Fu: check. I found him! Trick or Treat: Press My reset button. Swordfish race playing rat: Macy's Parade on Halloween. It's not a love story unless: Everyone dies. I'll never understand why I think such dark emotional idealism is an elevated art form. Is there any other kind? No strings left un-pulled. Limited theatrical release. Check it out. Butterflies are: Free!

City Hunter (1993) Wile E Coyote: Played by Jackie Chan. Movie? Real life Looney Tunes. 1960s Batman: Ka Pow!!! Clown Fu; Skateboard Fu; Field Hockey Fu; Cruise Ship Fu; Fog Horn Fu; Boobs Fu; Hamburger Fu; Baccarat Fu; Ricky Jay Fu; Rube Goldberg Fu; Bruce Lee Movie Fu; Micro Computer Fu; Jump Rope Fu; Pole Vault Fu: Rough Sex Fu; Very Rough Sex Fu; Streetfighter 2 Fu (extended version (You Win!!!)). The culmination of 20th Century artistic achievement. Probably the greatest, and the only, T & A Kung Fu Jackie Chan movie. Controversial. You love it or you hate it. Breathtakingly politically incorrect. Check it out.

Castle in the Sky     LaPuta: Island in the sky. Pirates: check. The girl will grow to be like: Mama. Dragonfly cycles; Robot Warrior Fu; Crystal Fu; Dirigible Fu: check. This is a job for a woman: Cover me! A woman's work: Is never done. Flycatcher's nest protected by: Guardian Angel Bot. Pazu, world's greatest action hero: Tarzan Of The Skies. One of the first Ghiblis, and one of the best. If you ever have a chance to see it on the big screen, Check it out!

The Man With No Name has a new name; The Sword of Doom has a new master; It is: Vampire Hunter D . Vampire Hunter D           + /+ Draculung: Watching as the frilly panties run. "You can do anything you want to me": Plus, three meals a day. Greco Roman, Magnus Lee: What kind of names are these for villains? The Woman's Moon: Turns red once a month. Sate the Medusa: Then kill her kill her kill her. Eye beam vs. sword: Eye beam! After being hacked off: The left hand eats dirt and belches! Sacred Ancestor: Not Sacred Ancestor? Apparently important in the development of anime. First time I had ever seen it. Lots of violent blood fun. Check it out!