Phat Mack Eyeballs The Flicks

Last Jedi Warning: This is only the second Star Wars flick I've seen. I may have had some trouble figuring out who the characters were, but eventually got it all straight. Opening title crawl: check. Rebels: check, but alas, no monuments. Phone pranks: check (the kids love phone pranks). "Dreadnaughts" & "Bombs Away!": check. Darth Vader: now played by Adam Driver. Pescatarian Jedi: Played by Luke Skywalker. Mark Hamill: now played by Orson Welles in his greatest role. Washed-up has-been Jedi: played superbly by Mark Hamil. Young Luke: now a girl named Rey. Intergender violence: Carrie Fisher. Rey and Luke: get in a light saber fight in the rain (but not sexy). Then: Rey goes to the Death Star (I never figured out why). Then: Rey and Adam Driver and Smeagol get in a light saber fight. I think maybe Rey won. Then: some other stuff happens. Then: Rey is on the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca (I missed the part that explained how). Filmies: some beautiful matc...

Silence - The Definitive Review I'm the one guy in the theater who doesn't look like a priest: Check. Lots of hand holding (on screen): Check. Drunken Jesus: Check. Lots of rain: Check. Thatched peasants: Check. Innocent victims of warring Thought Police: Check. Fey, politically-correct non-Christian Inquisitor: Check. White kimono worn for mourning: Nice Touch. Time flies by for almost three hours: Yup, no problemo. It was refreshing to see some true believers who weren't connected to the Taliban. Check it out.