Phat Mack Eyeballs The Flicks

5-17-2017 Guardians of the Galaxy Note: This may have been Vol. 2. Plot / story line made no sense, yet movie was fun to watch and held my interest. Trigger Warning : 70's & 80's music. Trigger Warning : Sylvester Stallone. (If you have the slightest ham sensitivity, you may want to give this one a pass.) Trigger Warning : Kurt Russell. Trigger Warning : David Hasselhoff. On the bright side: Tatara Samurai is coming!?

 Ford vs. Ferrari Statement of personal prejudice: As a small boy I saw Carroll Shelby in a cowboy hat standing next to Old Yeller… ...and at that moment accepted him into my life as my Personal Savior. I always felt the same way: About the Germans. That’s because he’s a degenerate: Beatnik! You are not Henry Ford: II! Hypothetically: What’s it take? Doris Day: You’re not a Ford Man! Fizzy pop: He can get his own! I had forgotten: Downdraft Webers! Daytona! LeMans! Lugnuts, anyone? Racing footage of early 60s explains why old guys get excited about cars. Highly entertaining. One of the better racing movies. Check it out!

Knives Out James Bond: Clouseau! A Boy and His Dog: This just never gets old! High water pants: We get the job done! Lie detector: Ralph! I haven't read it, though: Nobody has! I think this is: The best thing that can happen! Mmmmmm: Donuts! Funny as ****. 1930s filmmaking at its finest! Sure Oscar for 007! Detectives just seem to thrive on over-the-top accents. Suitable for wife or girlfriend. Take the kids. By all means, Check it out! 

  Peanut Butter Solution Canadian Fu: Check! Haunted House Fu: Check! Wino Fu: I gave him some money--all that I had!  Pubes Fu: Don’t ask... Trigger Warning: Celine Dion Harum Scarum: Medical diagnosis! This is a classroom: Not a barber shop! Hello Little Girl: Want to come for a ride? Child trafficking/slave labor: 500 a day or we don’t eat! Hansel & Gretel Fu: check! Daddy Issues: Don’t get his pants dirty, it’s his only pair! Cute Dog: debatable. “There is no excuse for this film!” --- Woman introducing it at Alamo Drafthouse. AFAIK the only movie ever made in Canada. If you’ve never seen it, you may want to check it out or you may not. From the right point of view, one of the most horrific movies ever made.

The Man With No Name has a new name; The Sword of Doom has a new master; It is: Vampire Hunter D . Vampire Hunter D           + /+ Draculung: Watching as the frilly panties run. "You can do anything you want to me": Plus, three meals a day. Greco Roman, Magnus Lee: What kind of names are these for villains? The Woman's Moon: Turns red once a month. Sate the Medusa: Then kill her kill her kill her. Eye beam vs. sword: Eye beam! After being hacked off: The left hand eats dirt and belches! Sacred Ancestor: Not Sacred Ancestor? Apparently important in the development of anime. First time I had ever seen it. Lots of violent blood fun. Check it out!

 Chinatown (1974) Burt Young: She’s no good! Jack: Down the hatch! El Macondo Apartments: ¿Se gusta Look pal, I make an honest living: Never lost a drop. I don't kick them out of their homes like you jerks: Who work in the bank. Let's have a big smile, pal! It comes in different parts of the river: Every night a different part. Does my talking about your father upset you? Albacore Club: Amber Care! We used to work together: In Chinatown. You don’t know what you’re talking about: You dumb Okie. Get in the car! Well, tell you what, pal: If Ida wants to see me she can call me at my office. Nope, your wife got excited, crossed her legs a little too quick: You understand, pal? Listen, pal, Escobar's going to try and book me: In about five minutes. Salt water: Very bad for glass! The future, Mr. Gitts! The Future!: Now where’s the girl? Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown! I forgot that the young Jack Nicholson even existed. My theory is that the movie still holds up, but can’t possi

Alphaville (1965) Spike Spigel? Sinatra of the Seine! *  Ford Galaxie : Portrayed by Ford Mustang !  Snap-brim Fedora: Check! Trench Coat: Played by London Fog. Zippo: Portrayed by Himself! Internet: Portrayed by Alpha--60! Colt Commander : Portrayed by Rando Automatic! Cameo appearances by: Paul Éluard and Jorge Luis Borges! I could take a bath with you: I’m big enough to find my own girls! Her name was Beatrice: She was a Level 3 Seductress: Listen, Princess! Natacha: Doesn’t notice all the flash bulbs! “There are usually 50 men to one woman executed.” “But what have they done?” “They behaved illogically.” Shed a tear: Water Ballet! Thrash dancing in the elevator: Because that’s forbidden! What is the privilege of the dead? Professors Heckel and Jeckel: Your tendency to dwell on the past might be useful to us. We send brain-washed agitators to other galaxies: We send brain-washed alligators! French girls have beautiful asses. This is made clear when they take off their clothes: Prob

Florida Project Huck Finn: washes up in the Magic Kingdom. Pappy: an out of work stripper. Bad Kids! no spitting. Fire bugs: at least they're not spitting. Pastels: bed bugs. Creep in the playground: from Cherry Hill. Florida Man: does good. No harm: no fowl. The American Dream: Escape! Definitely check this one out.