Phat Mack Eyeballs The Flicks

Lady Bird High School Movie: check. Sacramento: check. Parochial School: check. Prom: check. First sex: check. In-crowd/out-crowd: check. The high-school-teen-angst movie has stood at the apex of American film making since the end of WWII, and Lady Bird may be the best of the lot. But I'm not sure it will find much of an audience: no grody gross-out scenes, no gang fights, not even a car chase. Still, it is so realistic that it is compelling. By all means, check it out. "Six inches for Jesus!"

Kizu   Monogatari  1, 2 and 3 Best Line: "Why are you rubbing your cheek against my stomach so dearly?" Runner Up: "And why is my school uniform ripped?" Honorable Mention: "If I can't die for their sake, I don't call a person a friend." Gruesome Grisly Carnage: Check. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 12 year-old face. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 500 year-old face. Boob Fu: I've waited 35 years to write that. Vampires: Check. Trigger Warning : Japanese Teen Love. Kiss Shot: Pure killer, but not in a pool hall. Zonker: Shows his dark side. Sora Nagihara: Comes very close to showing up in the final scene. But doesn't. Trigger Warning : Frustration is a key element of Japanese adolescent erotica. Weird manga graphics that switch back and forth between representational and ideographic styles: Check. Extremely interesting and extremely entertaining (the audience was gasping and howling in places), and in the end, completely incomprehens

Julieta Almodóvar flick: Check. Funny Almodóvar flick: Weird funny but not haha funny. Husband gone: Check. Suspenseful? No. Daughter missing: Check. Suspenseful? No. Do I believe Spanish fishermen live in seaside villas? No. Do I believe that anybody other than a few weirdo pool players in the People's Republic of Texas know who Patricia Highsmith is? No. Do I know who Alice Munro is? No. Ending? Uh, well, the credits roll. Interesting? Sure. Always fun to see what people in foreign lands (Spain) are up to. Do I know why this flick was made? No. Am I glad I went to see it? Strangely, yes. Check it out.

John Wick 2 2-13-17 Camaro Fu; Mustang Fu; Neck-Tats-Fu; Seneca-Cosplay Fu; Disco-Party Fu; Stair Fu; Violin Fu; Pencil Fu; Sumo Fu; JHS Hallway Fu; Subway Fu; Pigeon Fu (Fishburne Fu (Appleby's Fu)); Museum Fu; Deaf Dancer Fu: Check. Duck Fat Fu (sorry, I had to do it): Check. Acting : Seldomly deployed, but the squeamish may wish to avert their eyes when plot elements require advancement. Myriad gangsters from myriad cultures: Check. Their accents: Teddy KGB, each and every one. Somebody do a body count. Check it out.

Ingrid Goes West 8-21-17 Stalker: check. Crazy Chick: check. Batman: check. Cat Woman: check. "Food, drugs and Joan Didion": check. "Tupac said there would be days like this": check. Valley girls online: check. Can you make a movie out of Instagram: no. I have no idea what possessed me to go see this movie. Bad drugs? No, I can't blame everything I do on bad drugs. It's time I took responsibility for my own actions...

In This Corner of the World 8-31-17 War sucks: check. Women and children: always take the worst of it. The color of the sky: touches her heart. Makes a marriage: check. Seasons pass: check. Loses her niece: check. Surrender: check. "I still have my left hand and both legs:" check. Her marriage: survives in this corner of the world. Great storytelling . I was expecting Grave of Fireflies, but this is unique . Check it out .

 I Am Not Your Negro 2-20-17 Cool footage from the 60s: check. Not as bad as I thought it would be: check. Doris Day: Not sure what she's doing in there. Point of view: Unknown. (Most documentaries are selling something. Nothing wrong with that, it's the art of the sale that makes them interesting. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what this flick was selling.) But Baldwin came across better than I remembered him at the time. Check it out.