Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) LR LM

-

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)


Trigger Warning: Trigger Warnings!

Indiana Jones: Lash LaRue!

The Girl Next Door: Slams shooters & gamb00ls!

Trigger Warning: Why is the floor moving?

Wiggle it at anything that slithers: A radio for talking to God!

Now she’s taxiing an airplane with a machine gun: Now he’s on a white Arabian chasing the Nazis!

###We must pause our tale here and ask yet again why there is no Academy Award for stunts. If the Academy wants to be more inclusive, why the **** don’t they include stunt performers? #criminal

Bunch of mushy stuff on a boat: Thankfully, he falls asleep before his submarine ride!!

The girl has certain value: Savage!

Roman Legion: Except they are Hebrew-speaking Nazis on a desert island!

Ghostbusters: Close your eyes!

Washington D.C.: Fade out!

Movie made perfect sense when it first came out. Now, less so. Check it out!

[Original soundtrack available on Columbia Records!]


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kizu Monogatari 1, 2 and 3

-
Image
Kizu   Monogatari  1, 2 and 3 Best Line: "Why are you rubbing your cheek against my stomach so dearly?" Runner Up: "And why is my school uniform ripped?" Honorable Mention: "If I can't die for their sake, I don't call a person a friend." Gruesome Grisly Carnage: Check. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 12 year-old face. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 500 year-old face. Boob Fu: I've waited 35 years to write that. Vampires: Check. Trigger Warning : Japanese Teen Love. Kiss Shot: Pure killer, but not in a pool hall. Zonker: Shows his dark side. Sora Nagihara: Comes very close to showing up in the final scene. But doesn't. Trigger Warning : Frustration is a key element of Japanese adolescent erotica. Weird manga graphics that switch back and forth between representational and ideographic styles: Check. Extremely interesting and extremely entertaining (the audience was gasping and howling in places), and in the end, completely incomprehens
Read more

Solo LM

-
Image
Solo Bowery Boys: Steal a space ship. Hot Rods & Hot Babes: check. The Defiant Ones: Chewie's big chance at an Oscar! Saved by: Woody, where nobody knows your name. The Great Monorail Robbery!: check. Ruh-roh: pirates! Party scene with weird robots: check. Hot Rod Babe: is back! Robot Wars: no longer politically correct. Bar scene with weird aliens; poker scene with call & raise: check. Wookiee Liberation Army: check. 20,000 Leagues Under the: Gravity Well. Pirates again: Road Warriors. Mad Max: The Little Red-Haired Girl. Chewie: always has to carry the luggage. Wtf? "I'm yours." Great. Too much mushy stuff but otherwise a really fun flick. As good as (no, better than) any Star Wars movie. Check it out. 
Read more

Last Jedi +/+

-
Image
Last Jedi Warning: This is only the second Star Wars flick I've seen. I may have had some trouble figuring out who the characters were, but eventually got it all straight. Opening title crawl: check. Rebels: check, but alas, no monuments. Phone pranks: check (the kids love phone pranks). "Dreadnaughts" & "Bombs Away!": check. Darth Vader: now played by Adam Driver. Pescatarian Jedi: Played by Luke Skywalker. Mark Hamill: now played by Orson Welles in his greatest role. Washed-up has-been Jedi: played superbly by Mark Hamil. Young Luke: now a girl named Rey. Intergender violence: Carrie Fisher. Rey and Luke: get in a light saber fight in the rain (but not sexy). Then: Rey goes to the Death Star (I never figured out why). Then: Rey and Adam Driver and Smeagol get in a light saber fight. I think maybe Rey won. Then: some other stuff happens. Then: Rey is on the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca (I missed the part that explained how). Filmies: some beautiful matc
Read more