Ambulance 2022

-

Ambulance 2022


231k? 32m!

Psycho Killer: Played by Donny Darko!

J-Lo: Played by typical hot L.A. chick from Mexico!

Mel Gibson: Hasn’t changed much!

Who wears Birkenstocks: To a bank robbery?

Cops in Vans: Robbers in vans!

I’m more of the sensitive one: I’m just gonna stay in the alleys!

Zaga doesn’t have time to: Flirt!

Pretty much just a: Car chase movie!

Put Your hands in the wound: And spread it apart!

Gunshot surgery: Call for a tee time!

Open heart surgery at 20 mph: He’s awake!

Sailing, La la la la, la la!!!

Obligatory Live & Die in L.A. wrong-way up the freeway scene: Check!

Obligatory Point Blank L.A. River sniper scene: Check!

Obligatory Breaking Bad automated machine gun scene: Check?

Obligatory tons-of-dead-vatos scene: Check!


We’re not the bad guys: We’re just trying to get home!

A new patient: Is in the ambulance!


Sad ending: Butch & Sundance!

But No! It’s not quite over!

Ending goes on and on!

Here comes: The widow and the baby!

Here comes: The cop with the baby carrier!

Here comes: The FBI guy!

Here comes: The cherry ambulance driver from this morning!

Here comes: J-Lo, back to the hospital!

Now she’s in the ICU!

Now she’s in Records!

Now she’s in Pediatrics!

OK, we’re done. 10 minutes too long.


In the pantheon of Micheal Bay films, this one is in the masterpiece class. It’s not Pain & Gain, but still.


And Jake’s still gloating that he got this part. 


Check it out!

 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kizu Monogatari 1, 2 and 3

-
Image
Kizu   Monogatari  1, 2 and 3 Best Line: "Why are you rubbing your cheek against my stomach so dearly?" Runner Up: "And why is my school uniform ripped?" Honorable Mention: "If I can't die for their sake, I don't call a person a friend." Gruesome Grisly Carnage: Check. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 12 year-old face. Trigger Warning : Big Boobs with a 500 year-old face. Boob Fu: I've waited 35 years to write that. Vampires: Check. Trigger Warning : Japanese Teen Love. Kiss Shot: Pure killer, but not in a pool hall. Zonker: Shows his dark side. Sora Nagihara: Comes very close to showing up in the final scene. But doesn't. Trigger Warning : Frustration is a key element of Japanese adolescent erotica. Weird manga graphics that switch back and forth between representational and ideographic styles: Check. Extremely interesting and extremely entertaining (the audience was gasping and howling in places), and in the end, completely incomprehens
Read more

Solo LM

-
Image
Solo Bowery Boys: Steal a space ship. Hot Rods & Hot Babes: check. The Defiant Ones: Chewie's big chance at an Oscar! Saved by: Woody, where nobody knows your name. The Great Monorail Robbery!: check. Ruh-roh: pirates! Party scene with weird robots: check. Hot Rod Babe: is back! Robot Wars: no longer politically correct. Bar scene with weird aliens; poker scene with call & raise: check. Wookiee Liberation Army: check. 20,000 Leagues Under the: Gravity Well. Pirates again: Road Warriors. Mad Max: The Little Red-Haired Girl. Chewie: always has to carry the luggage. Wtf? "I'm yours." Great. Too much mushy stuff but otherwise a really fun flick. As good as (no, better than) any Star Wars movie. Check it out. 
Read more

Last Jedi +/+

-
Image
Last Jedi Warning: This is only the second Star Wars flick I've seen. I may have had some trouble figuring out who the characters were, but eventually got it all straight. Opening title crawl: check. Rebels: check, but alas, no monuments. Phone pranks: check (the kids love phone pranks). "Dreadnaughts" & "Bombs Away!": check. Darth Vader: now played by Adam Driver. Pescatarian Jedi: Played by Luke Skywalker. Mark Hamill: now played by Orson Welles in his greatest role. Washed-up has-been Jedi: played superbly by Mark Hamil. Young Luke: now a girl named Rey. Intergender violence: Carrie Fisher. Rey and Luke: get in a light saber fight in the rain (but not sexy). Then: Rey goes to the Death Star (I never figured out why). Then: Rey and Adam Driver and Smeagol get in a light saber fight. I think maybe Rey won. Then: some other stuff happens. Then: Rey is on the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca (I missed the part that explained how). Filmies: some beautiful matc
Read more